Bonne Anneé!

Life is full of opportunities for fresh starts, new beginnings and change. It's not as though we've been sitting around waiting for 2010 to end, however I feel fired up that a new year is upon us. There is a surge of renewed energy everywhere and if you keep your eyes open and stay still long enough, you will feel it too. I invite you to join me in the journey on getting excited about life and about where this year will lead. Let's embrace our loved one's more than we already do, take control of what we can and let go of what we can't, also let's get into the habit of being rather than doing. Personally speaking, I'm considered to be a 'type A personality', I'm a doer who is well organized and focused. These traits have worked in my favour and has taken me far, in most cases. However, this past year I've noticed my life manifesting into a perpetual to do list that never actually ends. I'm so focused on getting the next task done that I end up in circles exhausted from chasing my own tail. It's kind of ironic that in being so focused I end up missing out on important things (and people). So, all you doers out there, let's all spend more time to celebrate all that was and all that is :D

Aside from reflecting on 2010 and making resolutions for 2011 I also recently returned to my beautiful home country, Canada! (see photo) I spent five weeks over the holidays in both Vancouver and Toronto visiting my loved ones. In the past two years I've spent big chunks of time away so any time to I get to spend with my people fills my heart completely. They are humble, accepting, loving, inspirational and amazing in their own way. It is sad for me to share that S an I are no longer together. We've spent more time a part than together and that we couldn't withstand a future with more seperation. He's an incredible soul who I wish nothing but the best for x

Currently I'm back in Paris and after partying, overeating holiday treats and enduring jet lag, I'm refreshed and ready to savour up the next six months in France. If you don't know, in Paris I've been working as a freelance English Teacher for children and adults as well as an ABA Therapist (applied behavioural analyst) for children with autism. I hardly consider this work as I've really been enjoying becoming a better teacher/therapist by learning about my students and what motivates them. Also, not having a boss or work politics has been pretty sweet.

Since my return, when I'm not with my students or lesson planning I've been learning French and challenging myself with speaking it more and more. My flatmate (who is French) and I agreed to speak more French in the apartment and I also made a French-only speaking friend. Yes, my head hurts, but its the best way to get past only speaking single words or short phrases. I've also loved exploring Paris' secret neighbourhoods, local entertainment, cafés and the art scene. I recently discovered an amazing neighbourhood lined with original funky boutiques, cafés and small independent art galleries in arrondisment 4. Also my friend, J, and I went to a themed (Germany in the 1920's) life model sketch event that is held monthly. It was in a club with 1920's music and the life models posed on stage for 10 minutes at a time adorned in beautiful costumes, hair and make-up. In between poses the female models would do a dance performance. The spectators were artists alike with their pencils, paintbrushes or charcoal madly drawing up a storm on their pages. (see photo) Check if there is one going on in your city: http://www.drsketchy.com/.

While I'm here I'm also dedicating myself to practicing art (see photo.)I'm applying to an MA in Art Education/Art Therapy and as a par of the application I need to develop an art portfolio comprised of paintings, drawings, 3D pieces, mix media and photography. I'm excited about the possibility of studying a field that combines my passions of art, education and psychology. Artisicaly speaking, when inspiration drives me to create it's as though time suspends as I give all of myself, my feelings, my attention, my heart to the process. This manifests in whatever it is I end up creating and I will usually discover a lot about myself during and after. I try not to view my own art from an aesthetic perspective, but instead consider my creative process; my feelings, thoughts and motivations behind each line, stroke and colour. Explorng myslf and the world through this lens has been an eye-opening, frightening, exhausting and fun to say the least.

To be continued...

Salut

That weekend in Berlin with S, like most weekends spent traveling together, was adventurous and incredible. However, our time visiting historical memorials and engrossing ourselves in bottomless sour kraut and local brew was anchored by a feeling of heaviness. It rolls in unannounced and loiters around like an unwelcomed guest. We wanted it to lift to continue with our carefree ways but we were faced with the unknown, and the uncertainty of what would happen in the days to come.

Previous to our weekend spent in Berlin I had lived in the UK for the past year and a half on a working holiday visa. It seems I ended up doing much more that ‘working and holidaying.’ In terms of work, the novelty of serving cappuccinos and pastries in European cafés soon wore thin with my experiences of poor management and pay. I didn't want to succumb to the notion of putting one passion aside (teaching) to pursue another (travel). Couldn't I have the control and freedom to design my life how I saw fit? To have my cake and eat it too? Upon this revelation I decided to invest in becoming an English teacher. It was a simple equation for me. I could continue to doing what I loved when (teach) while sustaining my travels abroad. I Fell in love with teaching abroad, but I also fell in love with someone too, S. Our love has been all-encompassing, kind, insightful and passionate. It is a love that has endured

However, time was winding down. We both knew it. We found ourselves trying to make the most of our time in Berlin knowing that my working holiday visa expired, as if it were milk that became spoiled. I didn’t feel ready to uproot the life, the commitments and love I had built in the UK, which, in retrospect, was something that I should have been preparing myself to do much more than I had. Being a Canadian allows me to travel around Europe and remain in a country for up to 90 days as a visitor. So with my expired working visa in hand I thought to return to the UK from Berlin as a visitor. Currently with such a high influx of immigration (legal and illegal) in the UK to assume such freedom going through its boarder is quite ambitions, and even naive. I know this now, but I was very hopeful and optimistic at the time. Upon reaching the boarder, the officials were not convinced that my intent to return was solely for visiting purposes. I was detained, questioned, re-questioned, searched and all they could find was my desire to stay with my boyfriend and attend his Mother’s wedding. But, that was enough to make a case against me claiming that I had little intention of leaving when I said I would. 18 hours later I was put on a plane returning to Berlin upon which S arranged a connecting flight to Paris. I sat on the flight dazed, overcome, sad, and defeated from all that had happened. It felt surreal.

Voila, here I am in Paris. I have been here for a little under a month. I am here for 90 days upon which I will return to my home in beautiful Vancouver, Canada to sort out a French working permit. It has been amazing as well as an absolute grind here in terms of figuring out the French systems and procedures, the culture and of course the language. While being in France any small accomplishment has become an epic triumph for me, even personalizing my voice mail. Since being in Paris I sometimes find myself being a quiet observer. During my travels in France and other countries seeing how cultures respond to their environment, their times and each other has been fascinating. I didn’t want to become too comfortable as a wall flower so I take the opportunities to learn and practice French. It’s a gorgeous language that I am keen to improve at. In my 3 weeks here I also got to know a lot about the market in Paris as teacher and it is bursting at the seams with students motivated to learn English for school or business. Good news for me finding a flat to rent in Paris was rumored to be a huge feat. So after reading P’s advertisement, meeting with him and viewing the flat I knew it felt right. Although it was the first and only flat I viewed I moved in the following week and have felt so good returning to a normal flatmate and my bright four cornered room with sandy colored walls, a single bed and huge closets that remain bare.

My time here is adventurous and very busy and I find it incredible how productive I can be when the sense of urgency kicks in. However, with all the rush it can get lonely as I am not sharing it with the people I love, in particular my partner, S. Long distance relationships are something that is difficult to get used to but is a discomfort and longing that has grown familiar to us. As he continues his life with school and work in the UK I move forward with mine in France, although I’m unable to ignore the vacancy of him, like a ghost with a transparent presence. Like the uncertainty we felt that weekend in Berlin, S and I are still unsure of what the future will hold for us. But for now, I can just take it one step at a time and remember to keep my head up and take it all in.

The London Fog

I stumble when I attempt to write about my daily happenings since arriving in London. The events worth highlighting have taken place more on an internal level. Living and travelling throughout the UK and Europe has pushed me to live beyond familiarity and conventionalism. My natural tendencies on the way I see the all things are constantly challenged. Stop asking why, and start asking why not! London, where I currently reside, is an urban jungle that orientates and disorientates thought, direction, perspective and influence. It is a metropolis that does not offer answers, but provokes questions and rouses new possibilities and ideas. At times, I feel like a microscopic organism adrift within something much larger than myself. Even though I feel miniscule against such a large backdrop, like all of us, I know I am important to the environment in which I live. I play a large part in transforming, broadening and redefining my surroundings. This relationship is symbiotic in nature because it is my environment that also transforms, broadens and redefines myself.

What exactly are these internal events I’m experiencing? My flatmates and I recently celebrated equinox/solstice that occurs four times a year. It marks a new season and with it new beginnings. We lit candles, drank wine and discussed what we are up to now and where we would like to see ourselves three months from now when the next equinox/solstice occurs. As intimidating as it was speaking to others about dreams and ambitions, it felt good to talk it out. Or was that just the wine? The following day I became consciously aware that during my time in London I’d like to pursue art. Since my mini epiphany, I have been focusing on contemporary art and the link it has to culture as well as human thought, behaviour, emotion, memory and the psyche. When I’m not at work making cappuccinos and falafel wraps, I will continue in my pursuit of all things creative with own projects of painting, writing and photography but also by being an observer to other’s work in visiting the plethora of London galleries, exhibits and talks. Ultimately, I aspire to serve others in my collaboration of art and my knowledge and experience in Psychology. Perhaps documenting this on the world wide web will hold me somewhat more accountable to it. So what will it be, art therapist? Art teacher? Artist? Art consumer? Again, London has not offered me any answers, it only provokes more questions.

Photos: Overlooking Thames River, Big Ben and London Eye / Brighton at sunset / A night at Life Bar listening to Giles Peterson with my dear amigos; Sean, Robyn, Myself and Terra.

Please check out what has been my inspiration:

http://www.michaelstevenson.com/contemporary/artists/tillim.htm

http://www.saatchi-gallery.co.uk/artists/hayv_kahraman.htm?section_name=unveiled

http://artipedia.org/artsnews/exhibitions/2009/02/18/ulla-von-brandenburg-at-chisenhale-gallery/

Barcelona

I am standing inside of the metro waiting for my train to arrive. It is rush hour and there is a furry of people rushing to and fro. I am weighed down by my over sized backpack, a day pack and my purse slung across me. I am relieved to see the train's arrival. The doors open and I shift myself into forward motion like a penguin. Once inside the train I am suddenly jerked back. Someone has been shoved into me. A man with a Dutch accent yells out, "you fucking bastard!" Because of forewarning it doesn't take long for me to know what just happened. The Dutch man became of victim of blind robbery, he was pick-pocketed. The assailants; two youngsters who simultaneously brushed up against him, took whatever was in his pockets and jumped off the metro to their quick escape. Here, robbing tourists has become a sport, especially on the metro. Welcome to Barcelona.

Soon after the metro incident, I met Marie at a busy cafe located on the city's main artery, Las Ramblas. She is originally from Germany, but has a British accent. Weird, cool, interesting? During my time here I will stay with Marie and her flatmate, Annika on their 6th story flat in central Barcelona. Like the previous couch surfing hosts, these ladies have ended up being nothing less than gracious, welcoming and helpful to me. Thank you for all the divine coffee and chocolate! Six days in Barcelona allowed me to do the sights, relax, bar hop and do some aimless wandering. My favorite moments included taking photos and buying fresh fruit & nuts at Boqueria Market, enjoying whisky on the metro then dancing on the beach at Sitges Festival and seeing the spectacular city view after hiking to Tibidabo with Marie. All so memorable :)

Travelling through France and Spain has taught and inspired me beyond measure. Even though I cannot build a life for myself here, I learned from and observed the people who have. I have gained much more respect and understanding of foreigners and immigrants in the EU and across the globe. Through the will and hope of building a better life for themselves, comes with it a lot of hardship.

I am now in London, where conversations come easily, toilet paper is abundant and menus are understood. Ahhh. The UK may not be as colourful, warm and tasty as Tarragona or Bordeaux, but it is a place I can work to build funds for future travel. I am staying with Robyn and a few others at a flat in Greenwich, a nice area outside of the city. Here, I look forward to building my nest.

Adios, I Love you all!

Valencia and Tarragona

After arriving in Valencia I was exhausted from my overnight sleepless bus ride from Vitoria (Basque Country.) My first hours in Valencia were clouded by fatugue, culture shock and disorientation. Oh the blunders of travel! After some much needed rest I was energized to discover Valencia (see photo of city.) I was impresed with the pristine architecture of La Ciudad de las Artesy de las Ciencias, City of Arts and Sciences (see photo of white structure.) What makes Valencia unforgettable are the gorgeous colour and design of Spanish jewellery, the tasty fresh fruits and vegitables of Mercando Central Market and the melodic hum of the Mediterranean Sea. I am a magnet to the ocean. I don't know if this draw is rooted in all humans, if it is due to the time of year I was born or if it is a result of being raised in Vancouver. I just know that I am happiest when I am alongside the ocean.

Where I am now is Tarragona, a city nestled between Valencia and Barcelona (see photo of landscape and beach.) I am staying at a one star hotel, Hotel Cosmic, in a private room equipped with the basics. I love Tarragona because it is small, historic, coastal. I am keen to capture everything in my photos because I want the tastes, smells, sounds and sights of these moments to come alive whenever I look back at them. Spain overflows with mystery and allure because every nook and cranny of the country is individual, unique and characterisitc. No two things are alike here and that is what makes the land so bold, colourful and easy to fall in love with.

Once I surpassed the initial culture shock, I began to embrace it. The differences between Spaniards and Canadians are vast. A siesta occurs from 2pm to 5pm daily in which everything closes. It is a time for people to be together to eat and rest. Everything is shutdown as well on Sundays because it is a day reserved for family. At first I felt inconvienced by this, but now I look forward to the times where everything (including myself) becomes quiet and peaceful. Work here is valued, but it is not always top priority. Friendship, family and leisure are what a Spaniard's lifestyle seems to be centred around, as should it be.

Falling in love with Spain is easy, leaving it won't be. I took a risk in leaving my Glaswegian life behind to build one here, at least temporarily. It turns out that economy is what will dictate my perdicament. Yes, even in Spain. I learned that without much of a plan or the ability to Speak the mother tongue I will repeatedly encounter dead ends. So my trip here will only be a visit. I have booked a flight from Barcelona to London for February 25th. Eventhough I will be sad to leave Spain, I look forward to creating opportunities for myself in and around London. Once I build the funds, I will travel more of the Mediterranean in the Summer.

Tomorrow it is Barcelona! I will meet with Marie (Germany) when I arrive. She will be another couch surfer experience which I'm sure will be just as positive as my last two. My visit to Barcelona lands on a weekend so she'll have time to hang out. I'm excited to learn about a new city and a new person :)

Yo estoy ahora mismo, I am right now.

Love, Carlee

Oops, I did it again....

During my travels a few unfortunate events occurred concerning some of my electronic devices. My beloved Cannon Powershot A540 fell to her death in a tragic 10 second timer incident in Paris. Diagnosis: cracked lens. June 2005 - February 2009 RIP. A few train stops and 100 Euros later I scouted a similar model (Powershot A710IS) in a used camera shop in Brodeaux. I enjoyed her for three days. While taking some candid shots of Paula and I on our Bikes in Vitoria, I carelessly put the camera in the front basket of the bike without its case. Total dumbass move. I was really frustrated with myself upon discovering that the display screen was cracked preventing me from displaying pictures or alternating most of the camera’s functions. She still works, sort of....DOH!!! Oh yeah my other best friend, the Ipod shuffle is nowhere to be found! Without my tunes, I was forced to listen to the bus driver’s homemade CD compilations of Nickleback and Spanish rock for an 8 hour overnight bus ride. It was pretty sweet. Yeah...sweet. I took some deep breaths, went to my quiet place and counted to 10 on numerous occasions. Functional camera or not, beats or no beats...Valencia and Barcelona, BRING IT ON!!

xox

France & Spain

I grew complacent and comfortable of living a relatively familiar life in the UK. That came to an abrupt halt when I stepped off of the plane in Paris. I knew I couldn’t really prepare myself for what I’d encounter in the non-English speaking world. I talk as if regions of the world where people aren’t fluent in English may as well be on another planet. In my world, these places can seem that foreign and alien to me. Yes I am chronically lost and confused, but this is what inspires me to learn and grow. This is what makes me feel alive!

J’adore France! I find it unfortunate that I took so little from my High School French classes. After I got over my inhibitions to communicate with others, I got by just fine. I definitely wasn’t inhibited to consume bread, wine, cheese and chocolate along with the French! The people who have welcomed me into their homes through http://www.couchsurfers.com/ have been so welcoming and generous to me. I am forever grateful. I feel lucky to get an intimate look into the daily lives of people from different cultures and lives from my own. It has been such an enriching and unique experience thus far. My first experience with couchsurfers was with Anne-Sophie and her two children whom I stayed with in Paris. I toured the famous sights by day and ate, relaxed and shared stories with Anne-Sophie by night. In the Louvre, the Mona Lisa was anti-climatic for me. The museum displays limitless breathtaking 17th-19th Century French paintings that I hope keep clear in my memory for a long time to come. Unlike Mona Lisa, The Effeil Tower was much more spectacular in person that I would have ever imagined. And at night, what a show! Experiencing Paris was like turning the pages of a story book. Fantastic!

From Paris I travelled via SNCF railway to Bordeaux, a relaxed, charming city in the South West of France. There, I was hosted by 4 young people in a beautiful, bright flat on the fourth floor overlooking the shopping district (Rue St-Catherine.) I did a lot of walking along Garonne River and through the narrow streets flanked with neo-classical style buildings. My highlights in Bordeaux were trying typical French duck with potato and watching “Doute” (Doubt) in a cinema that had been converted from a church. Thank you to Manue x2, Barbara, Javier and Tagoda...for everything.

I continued my journey to Vitoria, Basque Country (Spain.) To me, Spanish sounds like a string of mumbling and noise. I think that only because I don’t understand it, at all. I really want to learn about the lanuage and someday be able to speak it at a conversation level. I will continue to teach myself the basics while I'm here, unless I want to continue playing cherrades with strangers in attempts to communicate. My time in Vitoria was stressful but informative. Here I realized that unless a miracle happens, it would very difficult to find employment in Spain, which was my original plan. Paula expalined to me Spanish culture and I too realized the language barrier is a major hinderance to me. So with that in mind, I will travel from Vitoria to Valencia on an overnight bus tonight, then a few days following travel to Barcelona where I will most likely then fly to London. Once in London, I will look for work and a flat, if not there, then in a neighbouring city. Europe hasn't seen the last of me!!

I love you and think of you at all at home. Travelling here is amazing and eye-opening. However, I still think Canada is the best place on Earth.

Carlee xox